A Typical day at 26 Months

You know, it’s funny how God works. I’m sitting here in tears of frustration because I had 2000 words typed out and SAVED them (POSITIVE I saved them, multiple times!) and they somehow disappeared when I came back to insert photos. I am very easily frustrated. I’m a planner and a controller, and I HATE when unexpected wrenches are thrown into my plans. I have a lot of faults, but being unproductive is not one of them. I’m very efficient and I pride myself on that. But when my plans go awry, watch out! Now instead of getting done what I WANTED to get done during this nap time, I’m re-doing something I already did. It drives. me. NUTS. And I see that same trait in you, little one. That easily frustrated personality. And God gently reminds me of it all the time. My outbursts, my frustrations, my impatience and need to control… when you see it, you model it. And I think you already have the bent toward it. I need to be very careful about what I model to you. Because you pick up on all of it. There is a lesson in this somewhere, I just don’t necessary want to learn it.

Anyway, I already wrote all this. 2000 WORDS, like I said. Here I go again, I guess minus the fluff because I doubt I have it in me to write another 2000 words…

Originally when I started writing this morning we were outside. I was sitting out there with my laptop watching you play on your new playset. It’s been a long time coming, something that’s been on a to-do list of house projects for almost a year and a half. It’s been sitting in boxes in the backyard waiting for Daddy’s back to get better. And then when he got better, waiting for him to get motivated enough to start it. I don’t blame him for procrastinating, after seeing how involved it was to put together. It was a huge project, but worth the wait and the effort. You are loving it and will love it for many years to come. We had to come inside after about 15 minutes because you couldn’t get over the fact that the playhouse door wouldn’t stay shut (due to the wind). Real tears. So upset. Shouting “No! No! No!” at it over and over again. I tried to explain to you, distract you, but you were having none of it. You definitely have my neat genes. You like everything orderly and in its place, hehe. This time you couldn’t get over it. I gave you a choice. Stop crying or come inside. You opted to come inside.

You keep us on our toes. You can go from perfectly angelic to acting out the end of the world in 5 seconds flat.  It’s a skill that we are still learning, how to handle you, how to talk to you in a way that gets the best results in those difficult and emotional situations – to give you close-ended options, to say things positively instead of negatively. A lot of the time, for me, it’s a matter of learning to figure it out faster. “Little girls who pick up their toys get to have a snack” works infinitely better than “It’s time to pick up your toys.” And we’re tried to talk that way to you since the beginning. But it’s not entirely natural. There’s this whole parenting language that has to be learned. But if we can learn it and use it, it’s super effective. You’re also very motivated by rewards and “when, then” statements. “When Adela eats 2 more bites of her dinner, she can have a piece of bread.” If we can outlast you and stay consistent, it always works. It may take 15 minutes and a couple dozen repetitions later, but it does always work. You are definitely stubborn (and dramatic) but I will say this. You are also reasonable. You are a smart kind of stubborn, usually giving in when you see you’re not getting results. You test boundaries and when you find they’re not moving, you budge. It’s a positive of your personality. I’m glad you’re not a pushover, that you know what you want and that you’re willing to fight for it. There is a lot of mental and emotional strength in that little mind of yours. I think it will take you far, that strength – as long as God gives us the wisdom to train you up, we listen to Him, and you have Him in your life – it will be a good thing.

Consistency is the other big thing for us. Drives me crazy, all the parents (mostly strangers) we see who constantly threaten their children and then give up when they don’t get the desired response. It’s so silly to think that will work. I’m not opposed to threatening as a rule, but in general I don’t think it’s effective. Options are better. And when we do threaten, we BETTER follow through. I want you to believe us when we say things. Because we want to always follow through, I feel like sometimes it takes me a little too long to figure out what to do or say. I don’t want to commit myself to something that I won’t actually want to follow through on (or will make things worse… like escalate a confrontation unnecessarily). But it’s like this momentary panic sometimes, when you catch me off guard. Oh no, what do I do?? Hehe, but I feel like we’re doing alright as first time parents who are figuring this out as we go. And I pray for wisdom, a lot. Parenting is complicated, rewarding, frustrating, joyous, all-consuming.

FYI, I am still SO UPSET. I feel like I wrote everything I wanted to write – a GREAT monthly recap. And now it’s not coming back to me. I HATE that feeling… of losing memories I took the time to put down. So frustrating…. and God continues to whisper to me…I have a hard time letting go. I’m angry. Time is precious. I hate wasting it. Maybe I need to reevaluate what constitutes “waste.” Maybe that’s another lesson I’m supposed to learn. That learning a lesson I need to learn isn’t a waste of time.

Anyway, I’ll just continue to work off what’s on my post-its and see what else I can remember. Cute and interesting stuff…

• I need to record you on video more often. Some things are hard to describe in words, like all the cute little voices you make. You are really in to monsters and growl and rawr a lot. If your birthday was coming up sooner, I would definitely consider a monster party. Or maybe a princess monster party. You are the perfect combo of beauty queen and tomboy. You do this cute voice  that is both guttural and nasal when you say no to something silly “neoooo”. It makes us laugh all the  time. Gotta record it. This of course doesn’t do it justice.
• You love scarves. I gave you one of mine – a real silk scarf – that I’ve had for years and years and you wear it pretty much daily. If you can’t find it you come up to me with your hands on your neck and say “sssaa”, your version of scarf, until I go find it for you and put it on. In addition to having your bags of jewelry on hand at all times, you also sweetly demand your hair done on a daily basis. It’s become a standard part of our morning and I rarely initiate it. You love being girly. I’ve trained you well. Sometimes I let you choose your hairstyle, 1 pony or 2, up high or down low, barrettes or bows. Then you grope the top of your head with your fingers to see what I’ve done or we travel over to the mirror together to see how we look. This is your first real, single ponytail in the back. So sweet. You’ve had a mullet forever. I’ve cut the back of your hair several times, never the front. The front pieces finally caught up.
• You are saying all kinds of new things this month, much more than ever before. I’m the only one who can understand most of it – ear, eyes, nose, mouth, soap, crown, scarf, egg, cheese, cracker – and much more. Usually you get the vowel sounds and one of the consonants. Oh also, you now say “eeeeez” (please). For the longest time you would sign it, but not say it. Now you do both. We are ecstatic that you are trying to “use your words” this month – a bit of a break through – and we can see your obvious pride in our applause at your attempts. Good job, baby. 🙂
• For a while there I really thought that bedtime battles were going to become a reality. One night after many tears (real, distraught tears) I finally figured out that you wanted your water cup moved from one side of the crib to the other. You have gotten clever about using little things like that to drag out bedtime. One of your favorites it no matter who is putting you to bed, you cry for the other parent when it’s time to lay down. If Daddy is putting you to bed, you want Momma and visa versa. But we are wise to you, little one, and if we’ve already said goodnight that’s it. You require a bit more of a routine these days, since all the binkies went bye-bye, but if we read you books (and count them down…3 books. 2 more books. last one….), turn on your music, give you your blanky, turn the nightlight on, turn the fan on, you still go down without a fight.
• I think we may be starting the process of you giving up your naptime. Some days you don’t sleep at all. Some days you sleep 3 hours. It just depends. Even when you don’t sleep, you love being in your crib and will stay content looking through your books and talking to yourself for hours. I usually go in and get you LONG before you actually call or cry for me. I start to feel guilty and so I get you up. But really, you are happy in your quiet times. You get that from me too.
• You are obsessed with the idea of Mommas and Dadas. Everybody in every book, every cartoon and movie, everywhere we go is a Momma or Dada. You point out the Momma or the Dada and then you point out YOUR Momma and Dada. It’s really sweet and I think it brings a sense of belonging to you to see that familial story played out in others’ lives and then compare it to your own story. You are always very concerned when we’re home and Daddy’s working. You’ll call for him and I’ll tell you “Daddy’s working” and then, without fail, you pat my arm or shoulder and say “Momma” and wait for me to say “Momma’s here with Adela,” and that satisfies you. Sometimes we go through that routine a half dozen times in a day. It’s sweet how it comforts you.
• And Throwing. Yup. That’s new. Still trying to figure out how to handle your outbursts of frustration. Same thing Momma struggles with – well, usually not the throwing, but the frustration for sure. You now throw things frequently when you get frustrated. Sometimes we ask you nicely to pick it up (and tell you it’s not nice to throw). Sometimes you comply and get over it. Sometimes you don’t. When you don’t, sometimes we take it away. That only works if you actually still want whatever it is that you threw. Usually you could care less. So we’re also trying the naughty chair. It still feels awkward to me, but I do see the value of it – in removing you from a volatile situation and giving you a minute to calm down and think clearly so we can explain to you the inappropriate behavior. We’re still working out the kinks, but so far, every time I’ve used it you will eventually admit that you are sorry (you can’t say it, but you show me with a soft face) and give me a hug. And you really are happy to get out of the chair and move on with a better attitude. So we’ll continue to try it and hopefully I’ll find some consistency in how to implement it.
• Still not potty training. I don’t know if I’m just being lazy or if I’m being patient. I’m not opposed to trying to potty train you right now. It’s just that a part of me believes that we’ll be able to do it in a day or 2 if we wait until the right moment, when you’re ready. I don’t want it to drag out. But I do think you’re very close. So we should probably try soon.

One last thing that I want to mention, while I’m thinking about it. I kind of struggled with whether or not it was appropriate to put in your scrapbook, but have decided that it’s real, a real part of our lives and therefore it’s a real part of your life. We want you to have siblings. We are ready. I want you to know that we want that for you and we have wanted it for a while. I can’t wait to see you be a big sister, to have another little person to play with and grow up with. Momma was pregnant again, but that baby didn’t make it. That was in October. That baby is still your sibling, one that I think we’ll get to meet in heaven, even though we don’t get to meet him or her on earth. And I feel like you should know that. It’s sad and not the most pleasant thing to talk about. But that’s life. And he or she was a part of ours. We don’t understand everything that happens in life, why God allows it, or how he’ll work it out for good as he promises to do. But we trust him and we trust that he’ll work it out. And if we are meant to have a bigger family, we will. In his time.

Well, I guess that’s all I can think of right now. Still annoyed. But I’m no longer crying or angry. And it may not be what I originally wrote, but it’s still memories and hopefully I’m beginning to let God teach me something too. I love you so much, little girl. We have so much fun with you. You make every day interesting and worthwhile and funny. You make every day a blessing.

Oh, and as an FYI. This is the month that I started your 2012 365. I’m planning on taking at least 1 (or 100) pics of you every day of this year. Because of that, I am even more overwhelmed than usual in photos. These are just a random few of my favorites to give you an idea how cute you are at 26 months. The rest will go in a photobook at the end of the year.

And that’s 2500 words. Who knew? 🙂