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Little man, I love you so. If I say nothing else, I wanted to get that down. It’s hard to find time to do all this digital scrapbooking, but I know how quickly memories fade – even the best ones – and so I want to do for you what I’ve done for your sister, to keep a record of your life. A record to help me remember when you’re all grown up and don’t depend on me the way you do now. A record for you to read and discover some details of the part of your life you won’t remember otherwise. I hope you get to know me a little bit by reading it someday, to know how I felt about you. I hope it gives you a sense of your history, and gifts you with a sense of security knowing that you are wanted and so loved. It’s funny. I already want to moderate my tone a little differently, knowing that I’m writing to a boy now. Some things I talk about will inevitably be TMI. You are going to think your Momma is one big sappy ball of cheese. But you’ll love me anyway I hope.
So, you are 6 weeks old. It has flown by. I just finished writing the story of your birth and NICU experience. It seems at the same time so long ago and just the other day. You are growing up and changing every day. That sleepy, docile little newborn is transforming into a vivacious, alert little boy with his own personality. Six weeks is such an exciting time developmentally. And you didn’t make me wait for those sweet social smiles. I think you were smiling by about 4.5 weeks. But I wasn’t absolutely positive those smiles were for me until yesterday, the day before your 6 week birthday. The past couple of days you have been throwing them at me by the handfuls. Oh goodness. Seriously one of the absolute best milestones. It’s when you transform from a mysterious little newborn into bona fide little person. It’s when I know for sure *you* are in there. And it’s one of the best moments of raising children I’ve had yet.
Your sister smiled right at 6 weeks too, just like she was supposed to. Let me apologize right now in advance for all the inevitable comparison between you and Adela and my experiences with the two of you. I won’t be able to help it. And neither can everybody else. So many people keep telling us how much you look just like your sister. I think you definitely look similar. You decide. 
The other major milestone you reached? Rolling from front to back right at 4 weeks, same as sister. You and her both have been super sturdy babies. Neither one of you was ever especially floppy. You’ve been able to hold your head up for a few seconds since your first week. Now, you can hold it up pretty much indefinitely if you want to. You can also support your entire weight on your legs for up to about 5 seconds and have been able to for a couple of weeks now. If your baby muscles are any indication of your grown up physique, I’d guess you’re going to end up being one buff guy.
Your personality is still in the process of revelation, but I still think you are much more mellow than Adela ever was. You love being held, and you will cry for it. You like to be held upright, either with your arms over my shoulder or in a little ball on my chest with your head under my chin. So sweet, so cuddly. You are almost always extremely easy to pacify. My arms are enough to do it most times. And you don’t really care for a binky. You demand the real thing most times, unless you’re really desperate. And I have to convince you to take it from me. Mostly you refuse it when it’s me trying to put it in your mouth. Of course, I’m fine with that. I don’t want you to have a binky. But it’s nice for the other people who love you to have a backup when I’m not around to provide a suckling alternative. Adela was a binky junky. You don’t ever sleep with it. You fall asleep without it and never cry for it at night. That is GREAT. I hope it stays that way. We spent a lot of energy replacing binkies in Adela’s mouth in the middle of the night. Of course all this means that I have less use of my arms a lot of the time, being as they are taken up with holding you. But that’s okay. I know this won’t last forever and I’ll miss it when you don’t need me as much anymore. And it’s wonderful to usually KNOW what it is you want when you’re fussing. So far you aren’t nearly as confusing as your sister was. Some of that probably has to do with us being wiser second-time parents. A lot of it, I think, is just your personality. If you’re belly is full, your diaper is changed and you’re being held, you’re usually content.
And if you’re not, it’s gassiness. You had the hiccups multiple times a day in the womb. You get them after every feeding now. For some reason, you tend to swallow a lot of air. You burp a lot. You fart a lot. You spit up a lot. You are such a little boy. I love it. But it is terrible to see you with those gas pains in your belly. I have to be religious about burping you. Once you get them out, you go back to being your sweet, mellow little self.
You just started truly finding your voice in the past couple days. You’ve been cooing and “talking” to me with happy sounds. And your voice is so boyish! Deeper than I would have imagined. The one exception is when you’re eating and I switch you from one side to the other before you’re done. You tend to exhibit a not-so-manly moment of panic and squeaky whine that could break glass.
As for your looks, you are one handsome dude. Photos don’t do justice. I’m remembering how difficult this age is to photograph. I’ll keep trying. Your eyes are dark blue, but I’m positive they’ll turn hazel by your first birthday, just like Adela’s. We’ll see I guess. Your hair is a kind of medium brown, like mine. But your eyelashes are really light. Again, we’ll see.
Your sister is an amazing. She loves you so much. I can’t wait to watch the two of you become friends. Here’s a few in the order they were taken. You were just a few days old in the first one, almost 6 weeks in the third one.
You’re sitting upright sleeping on the boppy on my lap as I write this. It’s amazing the things one can do while holding a baby, with a little patience and practice.
I love you, Baby ‘Siah. You are the son I always hoped I’d have and you are even better than I imagined.