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Some days being a Mom is tough. I can’t say I always relish having to get up at 5:00 in the morning after only a few hours of interrupted sleep. But that’s really as bad as it gets, a few less hours of sleep. That’s my “big complaint.” I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes thinking about all the things that make being your Momma hard, and that’s what I came up with. Less sleep. That’s it.
You have changed my life in a thousand ways. Nine hundred and ninety of those ways are good. The other 10 are just different. There is nothing I hate about my new life as a Mom and a thousand things I love.
Do I tell you enough how much I love you, how much you have changed my life for the better, what an amazing little person you are?
Some days being a Mom is exceptionally amazing. Today has been one of those days.
I have loved you from the first day when you were a tiny little lump of wailing, helpless flesh – still only unactutated possibilities, a complete mystery. I don’t know how it’s possible for a love so intense at its conception to keep growing, but it does.
I will never be able to convey with any real degree of success what it feels like to hear you make your happy-to-see-me noises when I first peek my head over the railing of your crib in the morning, to see that heart-melting grin and your legs thumping on the mattress in excitement and anticipation of my arms. Or what it’s like to feel your baby hands grab my face while you stare into my eyes. Or what it’s like to lay you in between Daddy and I in bed and just cuddle away a morning. Or the joy is gives me to airplane those spoonfuls of baby mush into that gaping, baby bird mouth. Or the utter fascination and pride of watching you discover some new thing or ability. Or, Good Lord, how your laugh makes my heart nearly burst out of my chest EVERY TIME I hear it. Or even what it’s like to hear you cry when I know it’s my squeezes you want.
You are so much more, so much better, so far beyond my wildest expectations or my daringest dream. You are my world. I am overwhelmed today by the depth of it, by the intensity. I can’t soak it up enough. I can’t make it slow down. I can’t believe my cheeks don’t constantly hurt from the ridiculous number of smiles my face produces every day in response to your unbelievable cuteness!
I am truly overwhelmed by the blessing of having you as my daughter, by reflection on all the memories the past 7 months have made us and by the anticipation of a million more experiences, memories, and smiles to come.
It’s not enough, it’s not strong enough a phrase, but “I love you” will have to do until I get to peek over that crib railing once again and begin a new day of loving you with a couple hundred more squeezes and a giggle ready for whatever new faces you decide to show me tomorrow.
Haha… My silly, sweet, beautiful baby.