A Typical Day at 4 Months 

From now on this blog will be addressed to you, my baby girl. Your Momma has been keeping records of all your accomplishments in 3 separate places (this blog and 2 journals, one electronic and one handwritten) which is just too much when we’re so busy with you growing up and all. So, from now on, I’m consolidating. This blog is for you. It’ll be a long while, but you’ll find it interesting eventually.

Some Words About Sleeping

Oooooh sleep. How wonderful a thing it is. Which is why I have spent so much time and energy on trying to teach you healthy sleep habits. I like my sleep. I know I started too early since we’ve been working on this for about 2 months already and according to the experts you haven’t been capable of what I’ve been attempting until just this month. But it’s alright. You’re exceptionally smart and cooperative so it has actually worked, to a degree. You don’t cooperate every day or every night, but most days your sleep habits are fairly predictable.

In terms of our approach, we are mixing Dr. Sears’ attachment parenting theory with Dr. Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, and the two are often contradictory. I also just ordered Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. So, it’ll be interesting to see how that plays into the mix of what ends up working for us and for you.

For the first 4 months of your life I have never let you cry more than 10 minutes at time (if I happened to be in the shower for example) without attempting to soothe you. We have attended to your every need. You cry, I respond, you learn that I am always there when you need me (Dr. Sears), and we build a trusting relationship. At some point, you need to learn independence in order to grow up emotionally healthy (Dr. Weissbluth). And at some point I think I might let you cry it out if it becomes necessary, but for now I’m focusing on prevention. I’m hoping that you will be the exception and won’t ever resist sleep. Here’s a reminder of what you looked like at 2 days old, when it was impossible to get a picture of you with your eyes open. What a difference 16 weeks makes.

So far, you are very cooperative. You love sleep. You love to go to bed. We started putting you to bed much earlier about a month ago (around 6:30-7:00pm) and establishing an early morning nap (at around 9am) within 1-2 hours of you being awake. The afternoon naps are much more sporadic, but we’re shooting for at least one every day.

You take all your naps in your crib now. If you fall asleep in your swing (which you rarely use anymore), I shut it off as soon as you’re asleep so that your sleep is of the more restful variety. You still sleep in the playyard beside our bed at night, but we’re going to be moving you to your own room sometime in the next month. We will miss you terribly, but it must be done. And it will be easier on everyone if we do it before you become any more aware than you already are.

You still wake up for 3 feedings in a 12 hour sleep stretch, which you usually manage each night.But you are a sweetheart and after you eat, you go right back to sleep with no fuss. You mostly sleep for 4 hour stretches with the occasional 6 hour stretch and the unpleasant exceptions where you wake up every other hour and decide you want to be up and talking instead of quiet and sleeping.

When we put you to bed, we do so when you are awake but sleepy, and before you are fussy – if at all possible. You’re like a little puzzle we’re always trying to figure out. You’ve never required being rocked to sleep, and we’ve never trained you to need it. But we do try to follow a soothing routine when it’s time for bed to clue you in that it’s coming. You are content to cuddle with me for a few minutes wrapped up in a blanket with your binky and then I set you down and tickle your little face for about a minute. Before your morning nap, you get a bath. And before bedtime for the night, we read a book. You also get fed right before every sleep period.

I am learning to adjust my schedule to accommodate what’s best for you, so I rarely leave the house until after you’ve had at least your morning nap. You mostly only cry when you’re overtired. And when you are overtired it is almost invariably my fault. I try to avoid those situations more and more. It’s not worth it when I know that I can prevent tears by letting you get the sleep you need.

Some Words About Eating

Oh Adela, nursing has rarely been a “relaxing” exercise for us or “enjoyable” as other moms claim it can be. You’re a “good eater” – as evidenced by your cute little legs which now boast 3 rolls each – but you are also a very assertive when it comes to meals.

And therefore feeding you is a lot of work for Momma. The only time our breastfeeding is serene is during your nighttime feedings when you’re still half-asleep. The rest of the time I’ve resorted to swaddling your arms down by your sides. The times when I skip this step out of forgetfulness or laziness, I am immediately reminded why it is necessary. More and more you are intent on “helping” me feed you. And you are strong! Your little fists beat me and squeeze me and push me and you de-latch yourself constantly and then scream in protest because you think I’m depriving you intentionally. You are also impatient, dear one. Once I got over the frustration, it became quite comical (well, sometimes it’s still frustrating). You seem to think that let-down is a switch I flick on and if I don’t do it instantaneously, you whine and thrash and bleat your little head off. I try to explain to you that you’re the one who has to “prime the pump” but… well, you just haven’t gotten it yet. The hungrier you are, the more demanding you become and the more you let go and yell instead of suckling and therefore the longer it takes to actually get you fed. There is usually a good 3 minutes of this nonsense before you’ve worked hard enough to earn the flow and then you’re content only for a few minutes until the foremilk gush is over and then you start whining again until I switch you to the other side. You want your liquid first. Once I figured that out, things got a little easier. So now, I switch you back and forth until you’re thirst is quenched and then you finally settle down and eat your meal. You test my commitment to breastfeeding every day, but I love you and I’m going to continue to do what’s best for you until I can’t manage anymore.

Some New Skills

Your HANDS have vastly matured. They are no longer little balls at your side. They’re always together and usually in your mouth. When they’re not in your mouth, the fingertips of one hand are tapping the fingers of your other hand as though you’re scheming and up to no good. You are starting to grab things, mostly blankets, my hair, and your changing pads. I’ve switched from the disposable paper kind to a thicker plastic version because you grab hold of the paper and try to wrap yourself up like a little burrito while I’m changing you. We’ve started trying to get you to grab toys, but you still only do it without any real intent. But it’s entertaining to place toys in your hand and see how strong your fingers are getting.

Your EYES are completely aware now. You follow me all around the room and track objects that interest you. You will even turn your head all the way around if I come into a room behind you and call your name. You smile at me from across the room. I no longer have to be 5 inches from your face to get a reaction out of you. I’m your favorite person (with Daddy a close second) which makes my heart swell. And you’ve given the quivering lip a few times when new people have come around. You’re too young to be as aware as you are. I think I read somewhere that stranger danger came into play at around 6 months? So, we’ll have to work on that because I can’t be around aaaaall the time.

Your little BODY is super strong. When you’re laying flat on your back, I can grab your hands and pull you to a standing position and your head stays level with your toes. You’re like a little mummy rising from your coffin all rigid as a board with your hands straight out in front of your face. It’s really cute. If you’re in the mood for it, you will stand on your legs, with balancing support from me, for almost a minute. You fuss when I have you sitting on my lap for too long. You are keen on exercising those leg muscles, and I am figuring out how to type with one hand while the other arm is busy supporting your independent, wobbly body. When you get tired of standing, you let me know as this picture can attest.

In the past couple of days there has been a dramatic change in your VOCALIZATIONS. You no longer just make cute sounds. You’ve started communicating! You let me know when you want your binky, when you’re hungry, when you want to cuddle, when you want to play. And you do all that without crying, as long as I figure out which one it is that you want before you lose patience. It’s amazing. Such an improvement over the screaming! You still cry when you don’t get what you want or when get too sleepy, but you give me lots of warning with your “I’m not happy” noises beforehand, so I always know what’s coming. Your little voice is a highlight for sure.Hearing you “talk” to me for real, as a form of communicating what you want rivals your first smile in terms of highlights. It’s so awesome! You have also figured out how *loud* your voice can be, and you’ve started yelling and squealing a lot more, just for the heck of it. You have definitely giggled a couple more times, usually when I’m nuzzling your neck. But it’s still not a daily occurrence. You’re working on remember how to do it.

Some Random Details

The new TOY of the month is your Johnny Jump Up. It’s actually called something else, but that’s what it was called when I was a baby. It’s one of those little bouncing seats that hangs from a door frame. You’re still a little small for it and I have to stuff towels behind you to keep you upright, but you like the 360 degree view it affords and you’re figuring out how to maneuver it. I’m keeping it in the kitchen so you can keep me company while I cook.

The new QUIRK of the month is your sudden aversion to my sneezes. They scare the crap out of you. I think you think that it’s me being mad at you. You seriously almost cry every time I do it. You stop whatever you’re doing and stare at me with saucer eyes and almost stop breathing until I convince you all is well. Hopefully, I will be able to convince you that they have nothing to do with you, since I‘m prone to allergies. I feel bad about your worries, but it makes me laugh every time.

The new DILEMMA of the month is trying to keep your pretty face rash and scratch free. I file and clip your nails constantly, but no matter how I stay on top of it, you manage to do damage. Today I put you down for nap number 1 and you woke up bleeding on your right cheek. I filed your nails again (just did it 2 days ago). After you woke up from your second nap, your left cheek was bleeding. I feel so bad for you. I really don’t know how you do it. And you have a little bit of drool rash on your chin right under where your binky rubs. I’ve been trying to keep it as dry as possible, but frankly, it’s Not possible. You are too much of a drool pot. So, I put a little organic lotion on it every morning and it seems to be keeping it from at least getting any worse. Luckily you seem to have baby healing superpowers and scratches you get in the morning as usually barely visible by the following evening.

The new DELIGHT of the month is that you finally are fitting into your 3-6 months clothes!!! You have so, so many cute, cute clothes! It’s fun. You are my little dolly. I just can’t wait for summer when I get to show off your adorable arms and legs. It’s still too cold for all the summery stuff. Oh, and also you now have enough hair that I can “style” it a little. We’re still a long ways from barrettes, but it’s a start. You have graduated from cue ball to peach.

The new emerging PERSONALITY TRAIT of the month is your sensitivity. You don’t like a lot of loud noises. You are most responsive to peace and quiet where you can really concentrate on what’s going on. That’s when you really blossom and when you have your happiest moments. You get a little clingy and have a strong need to cuddle with me when you get overwhelmed by too much stimulation.

Lastly, a PREDICTION. I ambeginning to think that your eyes which are the most confusing combination of blue, grey and gold, might turn out to be hazel. I don’t know why, something about the way they look from the side when the sun is hitting them. Just a guess. Also, your hair is getting lighter and lighter. I think, at least as a child, you might have dark blond or maybe light brown hair as opposed to the darker brown we had thought originally.You’re an unfolding mystery. The best story I’ve ever read. And you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you, baby.